


Deceitful Comments

by FlamingFawkes



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: cutting tw, deceit tw, depression tw, negative comments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 20:46:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14679180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlamingFawkes/pseuds/FlamingFawkes
Summary: Patton should not be allowed to read online comments. When he reads an entire thread of negative ones, it doesn't end well.





	1. Part 1

It was an odd video, Patton had to admit. Thomas’ latest video only featured Roman and Logan and there were plenty of upset Fanders. Patton knew that there were lots of Fanders who liked him and Virgil, but he hadn’t expected the backlash of a video where they were absent. He had encouraged Thomas to do the video to appeal to those Fanders who liked the Fanciful and Logical sides. As with anything that was posted online, there were bound to be some negative reactions. But Thomas’ fans were usually so nice and supportive of Thomas and the sides. Patton usually enjoyed helping Thomas go through all of the reactions and comments of support and love. But with Thomas off making another video with Logan and Roman to announce the new Crofter’s partnership, the fatherly side decided to look through some of the comments by himself. 

After watching several adorable reaction videos from some of the younger Fanders, Patton was scrolling through the comments on the video itself. Thomas usually warned against this and would scan through them before he allowed Patton to see them. There were already plenty of deleted comments, Thomas must have already gone through some of them but as he kept scrolling through the remaining positive messages he started coming across a few messages asking where he (and Virgil) had been in the latest video. A few messages were angry that the video had only featured two of the four sides but most of those were answered by other Fanders or some of Thomas’ friends who defused the situation and calmed down everyone involved. Patton smiled at that. Thomas really did have amazing friends and fans. But as kept scrolling, he found a couple newer comments that were very hostile and mean.

 

**-What was even the point of this video? I thought Thomas didn’t post meaningless filler!**

 

Well, that wasn’t very nice, Patton thought to himself as he scrolled past it to the next one.

 

**-Everyone keeps asking where Dad and Anxiety are, did anyone stop to think that maybe they just aren’t important?**

 

Ouch, Patton grimaced but saw a reply had just been posted by a familiar Fander. They commented on a lot of Thomas’ twitter posts and were always very sweet.

 

**-They may not have a physical presence until the end of the video, but they are always there to some extent within Thomas. This video was about Roman and Logan, there have been other episodes with just Virgil and Logan, Virgil and Roman, and Logan and Patton. Only two sides were needed for this conversation but they say at the end of the video that Pat and Virge were listening just out of sight the whole time.**

 

“Aw,” Patton grinned at the computer screen, glad to see that this particular non-binary pal had jumped so quickly to Thomas’ defense and helped to explain some of the reasons behind the change in the line-up. Satisfied with the response, Pat kept scrolling there were a couple more negative comments about their absences but Patton ignored those seeing as most of them had responses already. He was getting tired and wasn’t really reading the comments anymore. He stifled a yawn and scrolled for a few more minutes. He was about to close down the computer when one last comment jumped out at him.

 

**-I was really disappointed that morality was just thrown in at the end.**

 

Patton paused, sleepiness forgotten. There were several responses on this one so Patton clicked to open the replies. He regretted it almost immediately seeing that it was mostly just two people complaining about  _ him _ .

 

**-I don’t like morality, he just seems so useless.** **I get that other fans like him, but is he really necessary?**

**-Right?! Like why is he even there? All he does is derail the conversation and make stupid out-of-context jokes that don’t even make sense!**

**-Guys, come on. I understand if Patton’s not your favorite character, but he’s still a necessary part of Thomas and thus deserves a place in the conversation.**

**-Fuck off kid, this doesn’t concern you. You’re what? 12? Go watch some Teen Titans Go or some other baby shit.**

**-First, that was rude and uncalled for. Second, I’m in my twenties, not a child. Third, I was only trying to point out that while you may not like Pat, he is still a part of Thomas and will always be there.**

**-Whatever bitch, I bet you’ve never watched any serious youtubers. Keep your stupid ass childish opinions to yourself alright fag?**

**-Now that was** **_really_ ** **uncalled for! You don’t even know them! I suggest you apologize right now and continue this hateful conversation on a different platform.**

**-No one cares about either of you two fags. One of these days you’ll get what coming to you. I don’t know why they even allow pussies like you on this site in the first place.**

**-Because the internet is free and open to everyone. You’re allowed to have your opinions and express them freely, you do not however have the right to treat others like dirt just because they don’t agree.**

**-I’m not going to be lectured by a fucking retard about some throw-away faggot of a character.**

**-morality is just stupid and useless. honestly, if he’s real then he’s just holding thomas back. he’s unoriginal and i’m amazed that anybody likes him at all**

**-Yeah! Why is he even still around? I would’ve thought Thomas would’ve cut such a useless background character already.**

**-Not having him around would certainly make the videos easier to understand. He changes the topic of conversation too much. And he’s so unrealistic and unrelatable. No one is that silly or emotional in real life. I know these are just silly videos but morality is just too much**

 

Patton slowly closed the laptop, warm tears brimming at the corners of his eyes. Now he knew why Thomas always told him to stay away from the YouTube comments section until after he’d gone through it. Thomas was able to deflect those mean comments, but Patton? Every one of those hurtful words had cut into him like a knife. Was he really too silly? He knew that he often deviated from the script for videos by making jokes, but he didn’t think that it had made the videos confusing. Maybe he was useless after all. Patton slowly got up and went to bed, tears slowly leaking down his cheeks in thin tracks.

***

After spending some time in his room, Patton did feel better. He opened the laptop intending on watching some cute animal videos while he ate some cereal. He had forgotten that he hadn’t closed the tab from the night before. He re-read some of the words from last night and saw that there were new messages, all reiterating the same thought.

 

**Morality is unnecessary and Thomas should stop including him in videos.**

 

The emotional side, sniffled as he read the hateful comments. Despite the interjections of a few nice Fanders, the majority of the messages were hurtful and dug deep into Patton. His untouched bowl lay abandoned next to him on the couch in his room, full of now soggy cereal. Patton set the computer next to him on the cushion, pulling knees in tight to his chest with one arm while continuing to scroll with the other hand. Tears started to fall freely from behind his glasses until they blurred his vision to the point where he couldn’t read the comments but the words he had already read flashed before him.

 

**Useless. Confusing. Stupid. Too silly. Copying off the better sides. Keeping Thomas back. Unhelpful. Unrealistic. Unrelatable. Obnoxious. Mentally unstable. Annoying.**

 

One comment, in particular, kept playing in his head.

 

**It would just be easier if morality disappeared.**

 

Patton knew that he couldn’t just abandon his responsibilities to Thomas. When Virgil had done that, Thomas suffered greatly. Patton decided that he would just perform his duties from the sidelines. It would be better that way. Right?

 

________________________________*****_________________________________________

 

“Has anyone seen Patton lately?” Thomas asked the other sides of his personality. Logan thought for a minute before responding with a simple: no and a crinkled brow.

“I haven’t seen him for a couple days now, not since we filmed the end card for the Crofter’s video.” Thomas sighed. “Where could he be, guys? He’s almost always here for filming.”

“Maybe we should go on a valiant quest, Thomas! To rescue poor Patton from whatever has held him captive for so long!” Roman gestured wildly.

“Or we could not do that…” Virgil muttered as he popped in.

“Oh, hey Virge, you haven’t seen Patton around have you?” Thomas asked hopefully. Virgil shifted his gaze to the ground.

“No.” Virgil brought his shoulders up and glanced up through his bangs at Thomas dejectedly. “But I’m getting worried about him.”

“I am too, buddy,” Thomas admitted, his shoulders sagging with a sigh. After a few minutes of silence so thick, you could cut it with a knife, Logan spoke up.

“Thomas, do you- uhm… feel... any different?” Logan was peering at Thomas with a soft but concerned look in his eyes.

“Not really, just kinda sad I guess? But I think that’s more because I’m missing Patton than anything else.

“Well, that's good?” Roman glanced at Logan and Virgil apprehensively.

“How is that good, princey?” Virgil asked quietly.

“Well, that means that Morality is still here and still performing his duties.” Logan supplied, adjusting his glasses. “But he’s still not showing up when summoned, which is… odd to say the very least.”

“This is very concerning.” Roman glanced at the others before turning to study the corner of the room which usually held such happiness but now stood as a dark reminder that one of their number was missing.

“You don’t think-” Thomas suddenly spoke up with fear laced in his voice. “Deceit-” He glanced at the other sides.

“No, Thomas. I do not think that this is Deceit’s doing.” Logan said in what was supposed to be a sure tone but his voice wavered as he glanced at Roman for help.

“Besides, if this was Deceit, there would be  _ someone _ here, right?” Roman tried.

“That-that’s not  _ all _ that he can do…” Virgil muttered quietly, his head down.

“What was that Virge?” Logan asked, looking over to the darker side, as he seemed to shrink in on himself.

“You-” Roman started as a realization hit him.

“I used to be friends with Deceit,” Virgil said so quietly that the other three almost missed it. “Before I- uh…”

“Before you became a part of this group?” Logan suggested, a kindness not usually present in the strict teacher’s voice prompting Virgil to continue.

“Yeah… that…” Virgil rubbed at the back of his neck before continuing. “When I was- uh... “ Virgil faltered and the others waited patiently as he organized his thoughts.

With a deep breath, Virgil continued. “Before, I saw some of the power that Deceit had. He can replace us and mess with your head, sure. But he can also attack us more subtly. The last time we saw him properly, he was directly attacking Thomas by pretending to be Patton. But he can also try to take us out, individually.”

“How does he do that?” Thomas asked, fear and concern in his voice.

“He preys on our fears, our doubts, our  _ opposites _ .” The last word came out as a hiss.

“Your… opposites?” Thomas looked to Logan for an answer. The logical side blinked at him before clearing his throat.

“We all have an opposite. An inverted version of the aspects of your personality. They directly contrast with what you would normally associate us with. The opposites are the other side of a metaphorical coin. With what you normally see of us on one side, and the opposite on the other.” Logan adjusted his glasses and continued, carefully now. “But the opposites of us aren’t just a switch, they can leak in unexpectedly and make all of us seem… well, off.”

Thomas thought back to when he had gone to Patton’s room in the nostalgia video.

“So, in the nostalgia video…?” Thomas trailed off.

“That was mine and Patton’s opposites leaking through. I was behaving… illogically and snapped at Patton.” Logan still sounded a little guilty about that. “And Patton’s negative emotions and wish to cover up emotions were his opposite coming out.”

“Have I- Have I seen your guys’ opposites?” Thomas looked to Roman first, who glanced to Virgil before addressing Thomas.

“I don’t think so, most of the time we don’t realize that they’ve slipped out until it’s too late.” Roman glanced to Logan for confirmation.

“One of the others will usually notice before we do, hence when I realized that Patton was struggling we attempted to make him feel better,” Logan said.

“Ok, so if Deceit is preying on your guys’ opposites…” Thomas slowed as his thoughts turned dark. “What does that mean for Patton?”

The others looked at each other with fear poorly masked in their expressions.

“Deceit is more powerful than ever now,” Roman said dramatically.

“Princey…” Virgil muttered.

“Sorry.” Roman apologized quickly before Logan took over.

“Now that you know of Deceit’s existence, he has more freedom with his powers-”

“There’s always a give and take, Thomas.” Virgil interrupted. “You gained knowledge, but at the same time, you lost the binds on Deceit’s powers. He could only do so much without being discovered.”

“Well… how do we know if this is really Deceit?” Thomas asked, looking around at his sides.

“We could try his room…?” Roman suggested half-heartedly. “We try to respect each other’s privacy when it comes to our rooms but…”

“-Desperate times” Virgil finished. Thomas nodded.

“Ok, so we’re all going then?” the others nodded solemnly. Thomas scrunched his eyes shut in concentration as he thought happy thoughts, hoping it would work like last time. He felt everyone sinking out around him and he soon followed suit, reappearing moments later in the fatherly persona’s room. But whereas last time the room was brightly colored and full of memories, the room before them all now was very different.

“That’s not good…” Virgil said quietly looking around. They stood in what looked like Thomas’ living room, but the bright yellow curtains that had been in Patton’s usual corner were replaced with heavier dark blue ones. The frame of rotating pictures that had been on the wall behind Thomas was dark. The deep red curtains that had been behind Roman were closed and the lamp post was off. Even the wall behind Virgil was empty now and there was a box full of school paraphernalia sitting on the table. The air around them was empty and still and the couches and bookcase were empty. Even the fairy lights that had snaked around the banister had been unplugged and hung limp.

“What  _ happened _ in here?” Roman looked around, eyes wide and mouth slightly open.

“Patton…” Virgil’s expression was that of almost pure loss. Not even Logan could find words, his mouth kept opening and closing like a fish gasping for air as his wide eyes took in the room and all its changes. 

“Ok, we can- uhm… deal with this later…” Everyone jumped slightly at Thomas’ words. With a deep steadying breath, he continued. “Right now, we need to find Patton and get him out of here.” The others nodded mutely but no one moved. They all just kind of stared at each other unsure of what to do next. After a few minutes of this heavy silence, Roman spoke up.

“Maybe we should try just looking around the house for him?” The Creative Side’s usual bravado was gone replaced instead by the same fear and concern that was etched on all of their faces. Without the camera in the middle, the sides could all move away from their normal positions and search the rest of the house for the missing source of light. Everyone started in a different direction, Roman headed into the kitchen and started open the other doors in the hallway, Virgil headed upstairs, but Logan…

“Logan?” Thomas came over and laid a gentle hand on the numbed side’s shoulder causing him to jump a little and the pure terror behind those glasses made Thomas recoil a little from the teacher. “Logic, are you ok?” Logan blinked at Thomas before straightening up and adjusting his glasses. Thomas watched the walls go up in his eyes.

“Yes, of course, I am.”

“Falsehood,” Thomas said gently, watching as fissured appeared in Logan’s protective walls.

“I’m- I-... What?” Logan stumbled over his words. That’s how Thomas knew that something was definitely wrong with his Logical side.

“Logan, it’s ok to be afraid, we’re all worried and scared for Patton.” Thomas put his hand back on Logan’s shoulder causing him to look up, brown met brown and Thomas pulled the emotionless side into an embrace. To Thomas’ surprise, Logan melted against him and gripped the back of Thomas’ shirt as a single sob escaped him. Thomas squeezed his logical side tightly to him as Logan broke. Seeing Patton’s room in shambles had shattered his resolve and now that the other two were off looking for Patton he felt safe enough to let it out. Thomas just held him and whispered comforting words in his ear, he had never in his wildest dreams imagined that Logan could hold this much emotion inside and would never have thought that Logan would let them all loose at once. But the dam was broken and all of the worry and pain and sorrow and fear and guilt came crashing out. Suddenly the two were broken apart by a yell from upstairs.

“PATTON!!” Virgil’s yell had summoned Roman back to the living room, sword in hand and staring up at the ceiling.

“VIRGIL?!!?” Roman shouted, his voice high in fear. “VIRGE WHAT IS IT??!”

“I FOUND HIM BUT-” The others looked at each other and raced up the stairs towards where Thomas’ real world bedroom was.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton gets manipulated by Deceit after reading some hateful comments online about him in Thomas’ latest video. Logan has feelings and Virgil loves his poor dad.

Patton had spent a good hour reading over those comments. He had made a decision, he was going to finally do right by his little kiddo. He wouldn’t duck out completely, but he doubted that anyone would really notice his absence in the videos after a week or so. Maybe even Thomas would just forget about him. That would certainly make it easier to do his job from the shadows. He could just hide in the shadows of Thomas’ mind, keeping him happy and content. 

 

_ “Yes, that’s a good idea. We’ll just hide out back here and Thomas will be fine and his fans won’t hate us.”  _ A small voice echoed in the back of his mind, cementing his plan in place.  _ “First things first, make it easier on Thomas to conjure the mind palace.” _

 

As if on autopilot, Patton conjured some boxes and put all of the stuffed animals and blankets and toys in the closet. The writings on the walls were torn down and put in another box which was stacked on top of the others in the closet. He took down the yellow curtains and conjured dark blue ones in their place. The air cleared itself of glitter and the frame on the wall faded to black. Patton unplugged the fairy lights and started to box up the school things scattered around the kitchen and table. The lamp in the corner extinguished itself and the deep red curtains fell closed on their own. Before long the living area was clear of Patton’s influence. He headed upstairs robotically and was vaguely aware that Thomas was trying to summon him. He shut it down and kept going. There were a few more tries from Thomas and a couple from Virgil and Roman. Every minute or so, Logan would try to summon him.

 

_ “He just wants someone up there to look stupid and make him feel smarter. That doesn’t need to be us anymore.” _ the voice echoed again and Patton stayed in the mindscape. Logan’s summons became a slight buzz in the back of his mind, easily ignored.

_ “Just like us. Easily ignored and forgotten.” _ Patton realized that the summons had stopped and he sighed dejectedly. They had already moved on from him. That was a good thing, right? It’d make it easier on all of them.

__________________________________*****_______________________________________

Virgil had headed upstairs with an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Everything was wrong. Patton was  _ gone _ and his room had  _ changed _ and he had  _ ignored their summons _ . Everything was wrong. The only thing keeping Virgil moving up the stairs and from room to room was the memories of Patton smiling, laughing, making jokes, supporting him,  _ defending him _ . Patton defending him, even from himself. Virgil would never forgive himself if something happened to Patton. All because he wasn’t there to defend him from Deceit. 

 

_ Or something worse. _

 

A familiar voice echoed in the back of his mind.

 

“Get. Out.” Virgil growled, low and menacing. “If you’ve hurt a single hair on his head-”

 

_ “You’ll do what? Crumple into a ball at the sight?” _ Virgil pushed the voice out of his head with all of his might. 

 

_ “How do you even know it was me… Maybe it was you… or maybe he did it to himself…” _ the voice faded away but those last words echoed.

 

**Maybe he did it to himself**

 

No, Virgil refused to believe that. He rushed from door to door opening every closet until he finally reached the door to Thomas’ bedroom. He took a steeling breath and opened the door.

_ No. Patton, no. Nonononononononononono. _

“PATTON!!” Virgil practically screamed as he flung himself across the room and landed in front of Patton who was leaning against the far edge of the bed.

“VIRGIL?!!?” Came a scared yell from downstairs. “VIRGE, WHAT IS IT??!”

“I FOUND HIM BUT-” Virgil yelled back but he faltered, how did he even begin to describe what he was staring at.  Patton was sitting on the floor with a laptop in front of him, deep gashes covered his arms in a seemingly endless amount of blood. Virgil faintly heard the pounding of feet on the stairs. Virgil shakily reached out to push back Patton’s bangs from his face, as he did so he was met with the normally cheerful side’s dead-eyed look. Virgil squeaked and scooted back from Patton on instinct. He looked down to Patton's chest to see it was shallowly rising and falling.

_ Too fast. Too shallow. He’s not getting enough air. Oh my god. He’s- _

Virgil’s racing thoughts were interrupted by a panicked yell.

“VIRGIL?! PATTON?!!”

“IN HERE!” Virgil yelled, his voice already getting hoarse. His eyes never left Patton’s chest, his breath caught as Patton’s hitched and his back arched slightly. Logan burst into the room and fell hard next to Patton. With tears in his eyes, he gathered the fatherly side into his arms, blood and image be damned. He looked to Virgil, begging for an explanation that Virgil didn’t have.

__________________________________*****_______________________________________

Logan hadn’t waited for the others after he heard Virgil’s yell cut off. His heart was in his throat and tears were in his eyes.

_ No, please no. Not Virgil too. Please no. Don’t take them both. I can’t lose them both!! _

As Logan reached the top of the stairs, he looked around frantic. “VIRGIL?! PATTON?!!”

“IN HERE!” Came Virgil’s cry from Thomas’ bedroom. Logan took off faster than he thought he was capable of, bursting into the room he saw Virgil backed against the wall and the top of a familiar head.

_ Patton. _

Logan launched himself to the floor next to the prone form.

_ There was SO MUCH blood. _

Patton’s arms were red instead of pale and there were stains on his polo and khaki slacks.

_ “Image be damned! _ ” Logan thought as he gathered Patton in his arms and pulled him onto his lap. He was barely breathing and seemed unresponsive. He fell against Logan like a ragdoll. Logan looked up at Virgil for an explanation, but all he saw was fear and confusion. Thomas and Roman came in but froze at the sight in front of them. Logan’s tears splashed down on Patton who was laying unceremoniously in the teacher’s lap.

A strangled cry from Prince broke Logan’s eye contact with Virgil, whose eyes were trained on the shallow and irregular rise and fall of Patton’s chest. Logan looked over to see Thomas slowly lowering Roman to the floor, as soon as he was down Roman crawled over to them. Thomas ran to get the first aid kit from the bathroom and Logan repositioned Patton carefully in his arms so that he was laying more naturally with his head against Logan’s chest and his torso on his black slacks. Roman reached out and brushed the hair out of Patton’s face but turned pale at the sight beneath. Patton’s normally bright brown eyes were unfocused and glassy behind his glasses. Roman’s hands went to his mouth, Logan tightened his hold on his friend. Thomas returned with the first aid kit and several damp cloths. Seeing Thomas return spurred Virgil into action. In a split second, he was next to Logan with a cloth, gently wiping away the blood from Patton’s left arm while Thomas worked on the right. Roman laid a hand on Logan’s shoulder, but Logan only watched Patton’s breathing as it hitched.

“These… aren’t cuts…” Virgil said quietly as he wiped the last of the blood from Patton’s forearm.

“What?!” Roman asked. Logan tore his eyes from Morality’s chest and looked at the forearm in Virgil’s hands.

“They- They’re  _ words _ …” Thomas breathed as he wiped more blood away from Patton’s other arm. Logan looked took a cloth from Virgil and carefully wiped the blood away from the upper part of Patton’s left arm. As the blood disappeared, surely enough red words were etched into the pale skin. Tears slid unhindered from Logan’s eyes. He didn’t try to stop them and glancing up at the others, none of them were trying to stop theirs either. Logan pushed a few more stray hairs from Patton’s forehead and pulled him closer to his chest. With a sob, he bent his head over Patton’s form as his already shallow breath hitched again. He heard someone leave, but he didn’t care. All he cared about was his friend laying unresponsive in his lap. He felt pressure on his left shoulder and looked up to see Virgil. His eyeshadow was running but his eyes were hard. He said something but Logan didn’t catch it. Virgil repeated himself again when Logan didn’t move.

“Lay him down flat, Logan,” Virgil said softly, but with a firm edge. “He’s having a panic attack, I can’t help him if I can’t get to him.” Logan looked down at the protective hold he had on Patton and with slow movements, he laid his friend down on the floor of Thomas’ bedroom. Moments later Thomas came back with more wet cloths and several dry ones. Thomas folded up one of the dry towels and handed it to Logan to place under Patton’s head. As Virgil and Thomas set about calming down Patton, Roman reached out and placed a hand on Logan’s arm. Logan wheeled around on his knees and fell into the prince’s embrace. Tears still leaked from his eyes.

 

_ He felt so useless! All he could do was cry while Virgil and Thomas helped Patton. _

 

Roman rubbed circles on Logan’s back as he held him away from Patton so the others could calm him down and get him breathing again.

Before too long, Patton was breathing normally again and Virgil and Thomas sat back. Roman released Logan from his hold and pushed him slightly towards Patton. Logan cautiously sat by his head, carding his fingers through the brown locks that still had just a touch of purple left.

Suddenly Patton started coughing, violently. Logan was the first to react. He pulled Patton’s head onto his lap and rolled him onto his side. Patton’s eyes scrunched and his forehead creased in exertion. Thomas pressed a cool cloth to Morality’s forehead as Logan gripped Patton’s shaking shoulders. It felt like an eternity, but it was only about a minute before Patton’s coughs turned to exhausted pants. Logan looked up to the others as Patton’s breathing evened out considerably.

__________________________________*****_______________________________________

Patton awoke coughing violently. He was on his side and his whole body burned. Something cool was suddenly pressed to his forehead and there was pressure on his shoulders holding him still. The pressure was strong but gentle, and whoever was holding him started rubbing small circles with their thumbs. Once the coughing subsided, he slowly opened his eyes and tried to sit up but the hands on his shoulders simply rolled him onto his back and smoothed his hair back. Patton had to blink his eyes a few times to get them to focus on the worried face above him. His heart sped up when he recognized who it was.

 

_ Logan. _

__

_ He was lying in Logan’s lap. He looked terrified. And- were those tears?! Logan was crying over him?! What was happening? _

“Pat-” Logan choked out, tears streaming down the normally reserved aspect’s face. His watery brown eyes roamed over Patton’s face as if drinking in the image.

“Lo-?” Patton was cut off by more coughs, just like before Logan rolled him onto his side as he hacked and heaved. His throat burned and it felt like someone had smashed his chest with a hammer. Patton struggled to catch his breath as he rolled back onto Logan’s folded legs. He attempted to study Logan’s worried look but then Logan looked up at someone else.

“Thank you, Roman,” Logan said and took something from the prince. He turned back to Patton, and slowly helped him to sit up a bit more. “Pat, can you drink some water?” The terror and worry laced in Logan’s voice made Patton’s heart break. He’d do whatever Logan asked of him if only to take the fear from his voice and the tears from his eyes. He slowly nodded. Logan pulled Patton up on his chest and handed him a bottle of cold water. Patton took long, slow sips as Logan’s arms went securely around his middle. Patton looked around him and saw Thomas and Virgil sitting against the wall and bedside respectively. They also held fear and worry in their eyes but nowhere near the level of Logan.

_ “They had all been crying,” _ Patton noted as he finished the bottle. Virgil reached out and took it from him, it was then that Patton saw them. 

 

**_The Words carved into his skin._ **

 

His breathing caught as he saw the red lines snaked all the way up both arms. His heart rate quickened and he forgot how to breathe.

“PATTON!” Logan’s panic pulled him out of his head and he let out the breath that had gotten caught in his throat. Patton was still staring at his arms, he looked up at Virgil and Thomas with tears forming in his eyes. They were looking between him and Logan. Patton could feel the accelerated heart rate against his back. He turned and looked up at Logan with fear in his own eyes now. Logan didn’t say anything just pulled Patton flush against his chest and wrapped his arms protectively around the trembling frame Patton wrapped his scarred arms around Logan’s middle and just sobbed into the teacher’s black polo. Logan laid his head on top of Patton’s and before long Patton could feel as sobs racked Logan’s body as well. After several minutes, their sobs dissolved into hiccups but Patton had no intention of moving from Logan’s embrace. This much physical contact was rare from the side and Patton didn’t think he had ever seen Logan cry before.

 

_ What had he done? _

**_Yes, Patton. What have you done?_ **

 

Patton gasped and sat up quickly, hands on his temples.

“Patton? What wrong?” Logan’s voice sounded like it came from underwater. “Pat?!”

 

**_You’ve ruined everything, Patton._ **

 

He looked just past Logan and saw someone that he had never wanted to see again.

“Deceit.” Came a low growl from behind him. Suddenly Virgil was at his side, one hand on Patton’s arm, the other arm placed protectively around his shoulders. Logan sat up in front of him, effectively placing himself between Morality and Anxiety, and Deceit. Roman stood, sword in hand and moved in front of Thomas. Logan’s hand reached back and intertwined with his. Virgil growled low again.

“I told you before not to hurt him.”

**_“And what will do about it, my friend?”_ ** Logan tensed in front of him, his hand squeezed Patton’s gently.

“We are not friends. We never were. You will never touch my family ever again.” Patton was frozen where he was. “Why don’t you stopped hiding you slimy snake?!”

With a hiss of smoke, Deceit materialized before them all.

**_“And how will you stop me from getting to them, Virgil?”_ ** Deceit sneered at the cluster on the floor.  **_“If today is any indication, you can’t protect them all. Just look at the damage I’ve caused in-”_ **

“THAT’S IT!!” Thomas roared, his head between his arms. Roman was kneeling by his side, sword still pointed at Deceit. “GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!”

**_“This is the last you’ll see of me…”_ ** Deceit taunted as he dissolved into a puff of black smoke that blew straight for Virgil before dissipating right in front of his face. He didn’t even flinch, just turned to Thomas. Logan turned to face Patton. He leaned against the side of the bed and pulled Patton down to him. He didn’t resist but was confused about the amount of contact from the Logical Side. He was about to ask about it when Logan spoke. He kept his voice low enough that only Patton could hear.

“You really scared me, Pat. I thought I was going to lose you.” Logan wrapped his arms a little tighter around Patton.

“I’m sorry, Logan.” Patton hid his face in the soft fabric of his shirt. “I just thought it would be easier on all of you if I wasn’t-”

“No, Patton.” Logan’s voice was stern but there was something else to it. Patton looked up and was shocked to find more tears threatening to break free from Logan. “It will never be easier without you. We-  **I** need you.” The correction confused Patton but he let it drop for now.

“Lo, I-” Patton dropped his gaze and felt his face warm. “There’s no excuse for this…”

“You don’t need an excuse.” Logan smoothed Patton’s hair with one hand while the other wrapped tighter around him. “I’m just glad we found you in time. I could never forgive myself if something happened to you.”

“But, it was my fault.” Patton’s voice broke as he said it. “They’re right. I just cause more trouble and pain for you guys.”

“What are you talking about, Pat?” Logan pulled back enough to see Patton’s face.

“I read the comments, Logan.” He whispered, hiding his face from Logan. “They hate me. And they’re right. I- I’m stupid and useless and-and unhelpful and annoying and-”

“Patton, where is all of this coming from?” Logan sounded concerned and worried again. Patton didn’t want to worry him, but he deserved to know.

“There’s some comments under the video you and Princey did last week…” Patton trailed off, hoping that Logic would figure out what he was trying to say without making him say it.

“Is that what’s on your arms?” Logan sounded a little panicked. Patton glanced up at him through his bangs. Logan was looking at the bit of arm that wasn’t behind his back. “Patton- I…. You know none of those things are true don’t you?” There was something in Logan’s voice that Patton couldn’t quite place, he had stopped trying to keep his voice low and if the others were listening in they were being very discreet.

“I- uhm….” Patton was still trying to figure out what that other tone in Logan’s voice was.

“Patton, you are extremely important. You contribute so much to this group and to Thomas. I don’t want to think about the mess we’d be in without you. You keep all of our spirits up. You’re an incredibly vital part of Thomas. I don’t care what a couple of anonymous bullies are saying online about you, don’t you ever vanish like that again. You scared all of us, me especially. We work best together, as a group. Separately we could never have sent Deceit away. But all of us banding together, protecting you, Patton. Our strength comes from you.” Patton blinked up at Logan in disbelief. Logan looked down at him and Patton finally knew what it was that had been hidden in his voice earlier, because it shone through his eyes. Love. Patton smiled and snuggled into Logan’s chest. He felt the other side tense for a second before wrapping his arms tighter around Patton, holding him close. The pair sat like that for a while. At some point, Roman had brought Patton’s cat onesie for him to change into. Eventually, the others left, each saying how glad they were that Patton was ok. Finally, it was just Patton and Logan.

“Hey Lo?” Patton asked quietly.

“Yes, Pat?” Logan carded his fingers through Patton’s hair.

“Would it be alright if I took a nap here?” Patton bit his lip, waiting for Logan to say no.

“Of course, would you be more comfortable on the bed for your little cat nap?” Logan continued to play with Patton’s hair. A smile spread on Patton’s face.

“Logan, did you just make a dad joke?” Patton giggled when Logan merely blushed in response. “But yeah, maybe the bed would be a good idea.” Patton started to get up only to find that Logan was still holding him. With surprising ease and grace, Logan picked Morality up and moved both of them to the bed.

“Would you like me to stay with you?” Logic asked as he sat down with Patton on his lap.

“If that’s ok with you, Logan. I know you’re not one for physical contact and there’s been a lot of that today.”

“For you, I will  **always** make an exception.” Logan lay back against the headboard and brought Patton up to his chest like they were on the floor. Patton hadn’t realized how tired he was until he had snuggled into Logan’s chest and his eyes started to slide closed.

“Hey Lo?” Patton yawned.

“Yes, Patton?” Logan had pulled the covers up over them.

“Why are you making exceptions for me?” Logan chuckled lightly and smoothed Patton’s hair.

“Don’t worry about it, Pat. Just get some sleep.”

“Whatever you say, Logan.” Patton smiled and snuggled in further. When Logan was sure that he was asleep he answered his question.

“I make exceptions because I love you, Patton.” He smiled softly as he brushed Patton’s bangs back from his forehead.

“Love you too, Lo,” Patton mumbled half asleep. Logan could have sworn his heart missed a beat. He looked down at Patton to find he was finally asleep with a small smile. Logan wrapped his arms a little tighter around Patton’s sleeping form.

“Sweet dreams, Patton.” Before too long, Logan was also fast asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> A big thank you to @awstens-fan-fic-blog on Tumblr for inspiring me to write this. I didn't mean for it to be so long so I split it into two parts.
> 
> This is a very heavy and depressing fic, if I missed any tags PLEASE let me know in the comments so I can add them.   
> If you liked the story and would like to see more, let me know! I promise it will be fluffier from here on out. This was the first fic I wrote for this fandom and it was cross-posted on Tumblr @champions-of-spirits if you want to check it out there.
> 
> Thank you guys for reading and as always, be nice in the comments!


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